John Mayer is Lovably Strange...

I fail.

2009-10-29T23:46:00.002-05:00

I thought I was back with a vengeance, but life said, "Eff you, you beautiful, random whore." But, now, I am REALLY back. Maybe not with a vengeance, but I'm back.

So, in other news: John had another birthday. He is the ripe old age of 32. Ah, to be ripe and old. With age, indeed, comes supreme tastiness.

New album set to come out on November 17th. Awesomeness, awesomeness.

I wish I had more insight, but it's late here. And I've had a headache all day. I'll try to be very charming and witty the next time I post.

Toodles,
Brandy

I'm back, back again...

2009-07-13T15:19:00.000-05:00

Well, I am back, and with a vengeance.

I'm going to ease back into things with a hello, and how is everyone doing? :)

Goodbye to all...

2009-02-02T20:28:00.002-06:00

Sadly, I am shutting down JMILS.

There are several reasons:

1. I no longer have the time, due to my job, or the energy to post in this blog anymore.

2. For reasons unbeknownst to me, I sort of fell out of the fandom of John Mayer. His music no longer appeals to me at this point in my life.

But I want to say thanks to all of you. You are some of the nicest people I have ever met, and I hope that you will continue to rock it.

Brandy

Cake! Clothes! Colds! (?)

2008-12-09T19:14:00.001-06:00

Well, from my absence, there has been news. I...am a teacher.

And I have been teaching my students about summarizing, so I shall summarize the news for you now:

There's been a cake contest, a Mayercraft commercial, some new John Mayer clothes, and I got a cold.

There you have it. Phew. I'll try and keep up from now on.

--Brandy

5 Grammy Nominations! Woo!

2008-12-04T20:42:00.003-06:00

John, I don't know how you do it. Whether it's by bribing the Grammy committee (which of course, I know you'd never do, wink win) or by just being so effin' talented, you've done it again. 5 nominations. Congratulations. :)

Brandy

P.S. Posting should be a lot more regular now.

P.P.S. I got my JM Poker Cards. I've looked at them. I don't know how to play poker, but I'll look at 'em! :)

John + Turkey = OTP

2008-11-25T08:48:00.002-06:00

Looks like John will be on Letterman for the 800th straight Thanksgiving (save for last year during the writer's strike and the year of the famine, neigh on 75 years ago now). Will he sit in with the band again this year? I love seeing him on Letterman every year, it makes everything digest so very well.
So, happy Thanksgiving to all our US readers and a very merry Thursday to the rest!

News?

2008-11-18T23:03:00.002-06:00

Beyond Jennifer Aniston and someone thanking him in some liner notes, I have nothing. It's my common complaint.

John, dear, you need to do something drastic. Parade down Park Avenue in a tutu or something. :P

Things.

2008-11-09T23:06:00.002-06:00

May I say some things:

1. I'm happy that Barack Obama is now the president-elect of the United States of America. And I'm even more happy that I voted for him. I actually cried when the West Coast polls closed and this man was named our president.

2. I'm sad that all the paparazzi can focus on is John Mayer and his relationships. I wish I could actually find more news than what is being shown, but I cannot.

3. I am looking forward to Thanksgiving Break.

Bye!

Brandy

Hope.

2008-10-30T21:34:00.003-05:00

I never really like to talk about who I vote for. Namely because I get a lot of weird looks. But after reading this blog entry by John, I am proud to say that I'm voting for Barack Obama.

Here's John's Blog Entry:

I was 23 years old when the nation was attacked on September 11, 2001. I can remember hearing pundits say "this changes everything" and "things will never be the same." Obviously it was a tragic and traumatic event, but that sentiment has carried on through the better part of my twenties. If you were 43 years old on that day, I would imagine it was a difficult concept to get your head around as well, but if you were a young adult just entering his or her individual life, there was an added twist; how can you process the idea of everything changing and things never being the same when you have no point of reference for what "everything" and "the same" is? I was just beginning to put my hands on the world around me, to interact and engage with it, and to actualize the dream of being an adult in a free society. To wait in line for 23 years only to have the "sorry, future canceled" sign flipped in my face was depressing, to say the least.

The social and political narrative of the last eight years, if you're a young adult, has been "you are the first generation of the second half of the rest of human existence." That's a huge psychological undertaking, and I believe it's one that will someday be diagnosed on a massive scale as having led to a kind of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. (Something has to explain away our premature obsession with 1980s nostalgia.) My generation has come to know itself as the generation that should have seen the good days, my, were they spectacular, now take off your shoes and place them on the belt.

What Barack Obama says to me is these days are good for something. Just when I'd thought my only role as an adult was to help shoulder the nation through its darkest days (known to us as "the rest of them"), Obama gives me the feeling that I could be alive to witness one of the most brilliant upturns in a country's history. Imagine that -- a young adult in this day and age being given something to someday brag to his children about having being alive to witness. What a concept.

That's why hope is a worthwhile commodity. To those who question whether hope is a tangible product worth building a campaign around, I'd say take a look at despair and how powerful that has been in reshaping how people think and live. I believe the definition of the "hope" that Barack Obama enthuses operates on the unspoken thesis that there has to be a polar opposite to the despair of 9/11. Because if we accept that there's not, the will to live becomes forever altered. To adults who will vote for him, Barack Obama represents a return to prosperity. To the youth, he represents an introduction to it.

Please, vote on November 4th. And cast your vote for a man who will represent the change this country so desperately needs. Please, vote for Barack Obama. Sorry to be so political, but this is an important time.

And now, back to your regularly scheduled JM blog. :)

Brandy

Gravity...and the Viennese Waltz.

2008-10-27T21:21:00.001-05:00

Gravity = great song.

Gravity with someone else singing it that is not JM and is not as talented = uncool.

Using Gravity during the Viennese Waltz on Dancing With The Stars = weird choice.

That's all I have to say on the subject.

Brandy

Another Holiday Revue!

2008-10-26T23:50:00.003-05:00

Think I could ask for that... for my dad's birthday (yup, the 6th belongs to the old man)? Any bets on if we'll get another movie out of it? And what's that mean, "On His Own?" Very exciting all around.

Playing Cards

2008-10-24T20:02:00.002-05:00

Just when you think all hope is lost, then you see John Mayer playing cards...and all is right with the world once again. This has put a huge smile on my face.

It really does pay to be a member of Local 83. I can't wait to get mine!

No, really. I can't wait. :)

Criminal Record!

2008-10-21T21:24:00.003-05:00

Written on July 6, 2008:

I want all my fans to know that it is with great humility and embarrassment that I have to inform you that I was arrested tonight.
I hope that my forthrightness and honesty will help to ease some of your hurt. Here are the facts.

After my show in Mansfield, MA, I decided to try my hand at mixing the perfect watermelon margarita. Having served more than two dozen, and sipping from each drink as it was delivered, I became very inebriated. The rest makes me sick to my stomach, but here goes:

I thought in my impaired state that it would be a good idea to play Grand Theft Auto 4: Liberty City. It was not. As I left my cousin Roman's apartment with the afternoon to spare, the alcohol (and the loneliness) got to me. The combination of Patron, Triple Sec, Watermelon Pucker and my cousin Roman's misleading promise of the American Dream brought out the darkest side of me.

I decided to walk into traffic and stop a cab. When the driver came to a halt, I opened his door and ripped him from his seat. This is when I began to pummel him without mercy. When he fell to the ground covered in his own bright red blood, I slid into the driver's seat and drove through a busy park with reckless abandon.

I won't lie to you. I hit many, many people. While I can't say how many it was exactly, I garnered 4 white stars and a large police search canvas area. I know I should have surrendered, but I just don't know what got into me. While listening to my favorite hip-hop station, I led police on a three-mile chase through areas dense with innocent people. I was eventually shot, leading my vision to become monochromatic.

I want all my fans to know that I will do my best to redeem myself in your eyes. Though I came-to outside of the Liberty City Police Station two hours later after my arrest, I know that the damage has been done. I have decided from this point on to obey the plot's directive; to figure out just what the hell I'm supposed to do in this game while hitting fewer people and lampposts.

I hope those who hold tickets for the upcoming dates on my tour will still come to enjoy the shows to come.

Regretfully,

John,
proprietor,
Niko Bellic

*****

John, I'm shocked. Don't you know that violence solves nothing? What right did you have to hit innocent and defenseless people? Can't you find anything better to do with your time than to get arrested by computer cops and rack up a computer criminal record?

But now that you mention it, try playing The Godfather game. You can choke people, shoot them, and also lead the police on wild goose chases throughout the city of New York. Think of it as Grand Theft Auto, but based on a classic movie.

And that makes it even better.

Brandy

Being the only John Mayer fan in my house is hell, Part II.

2008-10-20T21:21:00.003-05:00

I don't get it.

I like Nickelback. They are a GREAT band, but they are not the ONLY band.

And as much as I love rock, it is not the only genre. Case in point: my sister. Nickelback is the only band. And rock is the only genre. I heard a JM song on the radio coming home ("Wonderland", to be exact), and she did everything but cuss me out for wanting to listen to him.

Hey, come on, I have my musical tastes, too...they're some of the most eclectic, ranging from rap to rock to classical to some opera thrown in here and there...and Nickelback is not the only band out there.

I know well enough that John Mayer isn't the only artist out there. Whatever happened to the word compromise?

My rant's done now. :)

Brandy

Being the only John Mayer fan in my house is hell.

2008-10-18T23:29:00.004-05:00

Dear John,

You don't know what I put up with in my house on your behalf.

If you recall my John fan-dom time line, I have been a fan of yours for a little over a year. And since I've become a fan, I get nothing but teasing from my family over why I would like you, a singer who "sucks" and "plays the same thing".

For the record, I don't think you suck. True, there's a few songs of yours I could do without (Great Indoors immediately comes to mind), but on the whole, I love your songs and constantly have them on repeat.

By the way, putting your songs on repeat is a great way to annoy my sister. So thank you for that.

Sincerely,
Brandy

Happy Birthday...tomorrow!

2008-10-15T22:50:00.001-05:00

Happy Birthday to yooooou.
Happy Birthday to yooooou.

You look like a monkey.
And you smell like one too.

Sincerely,
Brandy

Okay, so maybe that wasn't the best birthday serenade. But...happy birthday, John.

Cake!

Confetti!

Scotch!

All that...stuff!

Caricatures.

2008-10-11T22:32:00.004-05:00

Caricatures are exaggerated drawings of yourself. I love them. I had one done of me not too long ago, and I'll tell you...you can no longer take yourself seriously when you have one drawn. That option has flown out the window.

Observe:

See? I can't take myself seriously. And you shouldn't either.

Now, I found some caricatures of our dear John Mayer, and I tell ya, I can no longer take him seriously, either. In a good way, of course. :)

Rock that bitch. :)

See?

Try having one done of yourself. Life is too short to take yourselves seriously, anyway. :)

Time Travel.

2008-10-09T21:25:00.002-05:00

I love John's newer stuff, don't get me wrong. But every now and then, I find myself going back to some of his older stuff. This song in particular: Why Georgia. Such a long, long time ago.

What are your favorite old-time John songs? Comment and let's share. :)

Professor John Mayer.

2008-10-08T22:08:00.002-05:00

John taught some classes at Berklee, where he spent some time before heading off to Atlanta to start his path to becoming the man we all know and love today. (Wow, that was a long sentence).

The talks ventured into music theory and practice, and the lucky Berklee students got to learn from the best, John Mayer...I think seven students get to write with him all this week. More props to them...I listened to two of the singers/songwriters and they are damn good.

Especially this one, Liz Longley:

Magic is in the air

2008-10-05T11:00:00.002-05:00

I love when subjects collide.
Take this bit from the David Blaine special (ain't no fan, but, hey, John showed up!), wherein John acts like every boy I've ever known:

And then, another vid, where he is mentioned briefly:

IS YOUR MIND BLOWN?
Neither is mine, but it was fun to see them cross!

Octoberfest.

2008-10-04T21:34:00.000-05:00

I think thanks, once again, are in order to the readers of JMILS, for putting up with the long periods of time in between posts 'cause of my busy-ness.

I think you all deserve to partake of beer (or your choice of alcohol)...and let's put on the liederhosen and dance to the polka.

Byah!

R.I.P., Paul Newman.

2008-09-28T22:03:00.002-05:00

From John's blog on honeyee:

I'm not sure when or where it started, but I used to play this game with my friends where we'd try and figure out who the "heaviest" legend was in terms of having the clout to bump another superstar from a reservation at a packed restaurant on a Saturday night. It starts to get fun when you work your way up to bickering about whether Robert De Niro bumps Bob Dylan, or Springsteen bumps Bono, but the game quickly runs out of steam when you realize that nobody can top Paul Newman. You can sort of picture Bill Clinton standing at the front of Nobu waiting for a table to pay their check, smiling and whispering "Paul NEWMAN is here!"

Nobody will ever be that cool again.

John, I have to say "Well said." When I heard that Paul Newman died, I was shocked. Another silver screen legend and great man...gone.

Sir, you put it succinctly.

Rest in peace, Paul Newman.

"I'm your host, John Mayer."

2008-09-23T19:45:00.002-05:00

John Mayer, the host of a variety show?

And the source is Fox News.

I have to wonder...when I think of variety shows, I think of Sonny and Cher. I also think of the thing that Jessica Simpson did when she was together with Nick Lachey.

...I don't quite know what to think about this, John. May I say, though, that you rendered me speechless. My mouth is gaping open, and...yeah.

Is this a good thing, or a bad thing? I'm not quite sure...

either way, I'm speechless.

How To Blog Like John Mayer.

2008-09-21T11:51:00.002-05:00

If you want to know how to blog like John Mayer, well, then this article is for you, courtesy of ehow.com.

Step 1
Post videos of your creative process. John posts videos on his blog that feature himself and others in the process of recording songs in the studio.

Step 2
Engage your audience. John addresses his blog audience, which is composed primarily of his fans, by organizing events such as "Take Your Fans to Work Day." He then posts pictures of his fans in the studio alongside him, and writes captions about their personalities.

Step 3
Delve into personal matters. John doesn't shy away from getting personal on his blog. In one post, he writes, "I took the biggest detour from myself over the past year, since I decided that I wasn't going to care about what people thought about me. I got to the point where I had so much padding on that, sure, I couldn't feel the negativity, but that's because I couldn't feel much of anything. And I think I'm done with that."

Step 4
Get existential. John doesn't just write about himself and his own experiences on his blog. He also ponders the deeper meaning of the connections between people and the expectations put upon his generation by the media.

Step 5
Respond to rumors. John posted a clip on his blog from "The New York Post," which reported that "John Mayer is so self-obsessed, he Googles himself every morning, and has been known to respond to online rumors just to clear the air." John kept his response short but sweet, writing, "This is, quite simply, untrue."

Step 6
Scrap the comments function. Unlike other blogs, John's doesn't enable readers to post comments on his blog posts. Instead, he has a link to his email address, so people can get in touch one-on-one.

And there you have it. :)

Taking On Water.

2008-09-20T20:11:00.003-05:00

Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

Okay, I'm done letting out my excitement now.

At the risk of getting an evil glare from both John Mayer and other people alike...I will go ahead and apologize to all of you. But you cannot take away from my excitement! :)

If you look back to this entry (this entry), you'll remember me raving 'bout a song called "Taking On Water"). Well, here it is, in all it's good song glory.

Sorry, "Slow Dancing in a Burning Room"...you have a new contender.

Music Recommendations (Part III)

2008-09-20T19:05:00.002-05:00

John, you haaaaaave to listen to this guy.

You too, all my readers out there in the blogosphere.

By accident, I discovered a Scottish singer named Paolo Nutini...yes, the name is Italian, but don't let it fool you.

He has the most unique voice I've ever heard, and his songs are a combination of catchy, as well as feel-good (and for all of ladies, I think his voice is sexy). ;)

So, take a gander, John and blogosphere.

Just a sampling. :)

jm spotted with bike helmet, yours truly dissolves into puddle

2008-09-15T12:18:00.003-05:00

Well, let's start with the BRAVO, using a helmet. Keep that head intact. Second: let me see that bike!
I am admittedly a sucker for a good motorcycle, especially shiny British ones. Call it a hazard of being married to a "anything with wheels" geek. He fell in with a group of nerdy bikers a few years back and I was infected with the lust. It is very hard to resist.
So now John has made it completely impossible for me to hate him. I'm turning into one of THOSE people. You know who they are. Don't make me start bedazzling shirts with you on them, John. Go kick a puppy or something so you stop being so terribly desirable.

New Layout.

2008-09-14T16:55:00.001-05:00

I got sick of looking at maroon, and I bet you did, too.

So here's a new banner and a new look for y'all. :)

John Mayer is Appreciative.

2008-09-14T16:22:00.001-05:00

Yes, despite his admitted douchebag-ness, Sir John Mayer is rather appreciative of the fans, and how great they made this tour.

Well, John, thank YOU for doing what you love and loving what you do. Believe me, sir, it shows.

P.S. Start doing more stuff, or I shall have to resort to writing stories about unicorns, puppies, and music recommendations.

Brandy

Rage Against The Machine...hey, it's a free country.

2008-09-09T22:09:00.003-05:00

From John's blog on honeyee:

From my filmmaker friend, Hank:

"...some pictures from this past Tuesday night, less than a mile from the Republican National Convention. We were asked to come up and shoot an unannounced surprise show by our friends Rage Against the Machine on the lawn of the Minnesota State Capitol. And it would have been a cool show in front of about 7500 young surprised fans. Except the second the band got out of their van to walk to the stage, the Minn. State Police confronted them and told them they would not be going on stage, not to try it, and if they did the power would be cut. Then suddenly there were about 300+ Riot Police, in full gear, circling the Lawn. And then they cut the power. With the fans going nuts, and the Troopers not budging, the band were brilliant. Zack, Tom, Tim and Brad, walked around to the crowd in front of the stage, and led the audience in an unplugged Rage protest set through just a megaphone."

Wee! John, I'm glad you posted this, because it has to do with several things: freedom of speech, and democracy. Rage Against The Machine's music always attacked that well-oiled machine called "the man".

And I love that about them.

And I love you for posting this.

I recommend you listen to "Bulls on Parade". It's a cool song to play on Guitar Hero III. :)

I will not reveal who I'm voting for, you curious folks...that's private info. ;)

But have a lovely day/evening/night!

Not a lot of news...

2008-09-07T13:51:00.002-05:00

There has not been a lot of news lately about ol' John. He's finished up his tour, he's hanging out with a hot blonde...c'mon, boy, give me something to work with here, else I'll actually have to THINK!

And allowing me to think, ladies and gents, is a dangerous notion. ;)

Wee! 100 Posts!

2008-09-03T21:16:00.001-05:00

100 posts and still going strong!

Thank you to all of the readers of JMILS.

And as far as the poll, it comes as no surprise that we like all of his albums...

P.S. I do too. :D

Again, thanks!

Brandy

Music Recommendations (Part II)

2008-08-31T11:13:00.001-05:00

Listen to ANYTHING by Loreena McKennitt. The woman has the voice of an angel.

That is all. :)

Music Recommendations (Part I)

2008-08-24T11:26:00.003-05:00

I hear that John sometimes takes music recommendations from fans.

Now I know you are a fan of the blues (I happen to love Eric Clapton and Jimi Hendrix, by the way), but here are a few of my favorite bands, and the songs that I love. So John, this is for you:

Three Days Grace. A band from Canada. They've put out several albums, and will have a new one coming out either this fall or in 2009. These songs are the songs that got me to start loving this band: "Never Too Late" and "Over and Over". Check out their other stuff, too.

From "Gamer" to "Having Game"

2008-08-23T19:08:00.002-05:00

From People Online:

Before he had game, John Mayer was a big gamer.

For three years in elementary and junior high school in Fairfield, Conn., the Grammy winner spent almost every afternoon playing Nintendo with his childhood pal, tennis star and Olympian James Blake.

"Just about every day he was at my house, and we'd play Nintendo games, like Joe Montana football, all the time," says Blake, who was in fifth grade when the two became best buds.

"John was pretty good, but I played a bit more than he did," Blake told PEOPLE at Heineken's Share the Good event in New York City on Friday, where he accepted a $10,000 check for the Thomas Blake Sr. Memorial Cancer Research Fund, his charity honoring his late father.

Mayer and Blake, one of PEOPLE's Hottest Bachelors, hung out Thursday night at the Manhattan benefit for the charity.

So, were girls swarming around them back at Fairfield High School?

"Absolutely not!" says Blake, with a laugh. "I don't know what he likes to tell about his high school experience, but mine was very different from the way life is now.

"I was about five feet tall wearing a back brace [due to scoliosis]," continues Blake, who's in town for the U.S. Open. "I definitely didn't have girls flocking around me."

During a podcast in July, Blake also told ESPN's Bill Simmons, "To be honest, I don't think either one of us was doing that great [with the ladies] in high school – John was still kind of fitting into a niche ... He's more than made up for himself with how he's done since then."

These days, Mayer, 30, and Blake, 28, are both single, after the singer's recent split from Jennifer Aniston.

So, will they be each other's wingman? Don't bet on it, says the tennis star.

"I don't think John needs one, he does just fine on his own," says Blake. "He doesn't even need to be my wingman – he can just stand there, and people are impressed that I know him!"

I think it's awesome that John has kept James as one of his best friends. I also think it's cool that he came to his event to support his friend. I have absolutely nothing sarcastic or funny to say about this lovable man.

Kudos, John.

Shi(f)t Happens.

2008-08-23T12:05:00.003-05:00

I think John might appreciate it.

You will, too...when I watched this, I was surprised, as well as informed.

Narcissism?

2008-08-23T00:31:00.001-05:00

Narcissism is defined as "the trait of excessive self-love, based on self-image or ego."

Hmm. John Mayer, a narcissist? I have to wonder...the name John Mayer is listed three times on this poster. Maybe, just maybe, he thought people would forget his name, so he wanted to remind us, in case we forgot. Or, because of his love of fonts, he wanted to see his name three times 'cause this font is his favorite.

Or something.

Favorite John Mayer Album?

2008-08-17T20:01:00.002-05:00

If you know me, then you know my affinity for polls.

I love polls.

Polls polls polls.

And it's POLLS, not POLES, you homophone-loving people. (Homophones are two words that are spelled differently, but sound the same.) I do not keep any such pole in my house, whether it be a firemen's pole, or otherwise.

Okay, back to the topic. Look to the right, where you usually find the polls, and let me know, alllll of you out there in the blogosphere, what your favorite JM album is.

Booyah.

Brandy

a bit of randomness

2008-08-16T23:42:00.005-05:00

I decided, as John news-- outside ridiculous tabloid rumor-- is rather slow right now (until Tuesday! Back to the tour!), that I would share with you a random story from my life.
I am the mother of two small children: K, 4.5 years old and M, 2.5 years old. My love of John Mayer is virtually legendary at this point, where it's become a joke among everyone I know. One evening, at dinner, I relayed something I'd read about John to my husband (who is a fan now, as well, after seeing him live, but he'll never confess). My daughter, K, leans across the table and said, in a stage whisper: "Mommy really likes John Mayer!"
But, then, this is a kid who requested I put his albums on the iPod we keep in their room. I've slowly converting the masses. One guitar lick at a time, my friends.

John Mayer, the Comedian (Part IV)

2008-08-13T19:06:00.002-05:00

Chocolate Rain.

I laughed my ass off when I first saw this...

Goooooooooogle.

2008-08-11T17:04:00.002-05:00

Great first entry, Lorrie, if I say so m'self. :)

As a writer in this wide blogosphere, I sometimes go to Google for info and stuff. But I never look at the results from a search on John Mayer.

So, for curiosity's sake, I looked this time around.

Currently, there are 12,700,000 results, and it took 0.13 seconds to find them all.

Now that, ladies and gents, is some fast search-age...

hello!

2008-08-11T10:20:00.006-05:00

Thank you to Brandy for the introduction. I hope no one minds that I must dive in with a small request:
John. John, John, John. You're adorable and cute and funny and clever. I miss you. Not in that "I want to see twenty photos that are all creepily similar because they were shot in quick succession by a pap who wouldn't leave you alone while you were trying to take out the garbage (and that's really nice of you to do so Chad can sleep in)" way. I'm even going to say that I don't miss you in the "why don't you cancel the rest of your tour and come back and play in Denver again?" way. I miss YOU, John. I see these random old photos of you playing and I miss that. I do not like randomly remembering that you're a musician. I have 2.5 days worth of your music on my iTunes and, a great deal of the time, I forget that you play a mean guitar.
What am I demanding? The impossible, of course: to go back in time. But, then, you're a man who's expressed interest in time travel. I say you get back on that! Forget Gumball! Build that time machine and let's go back to long hair, cheesy sweaters and Eddie's Attic! TO THE TIME MACHINE!

Face of the Day.

2008-08-11T00:45:00.002-05:00

Not to be confused with "Guitar Face of the Day", "Face of the Day" is the product of my random mind, when I just take regular ol' pictures of him and talk about 'em.

"My name is John. John Mayer. You may know me from such albums as Room for Squares, Heavier Things, Try!, Continuum and The Village Sessions. No, I don't have a guitar, but I have something even BETTER: a camera. Cameras are awesome. Currently, I own 2,757, 873 cameras, and I'm always looking to add to my collection.

A picture's worth a thousand words. Want to take mine?

Click."

John Mayer, the Comedian (Part III)

2008-08-10T00:41:00.002-05:00

Who could forget this: speaking Japanese when asked about Jessica Simpson before the Grammys in 2007.

I thought this was a good hilarious roundabout way of saying "Nunya business." What do y'all think?

Introducing...

2008-08-09T23:05:00.002-05:00

I want to introduce to you my new co-author, Lorrie.

We are going to Mayer on together...we will write lovably strange entries, and when I get too logged down, you will not have to wait forever for a post, never fear...Lorrie will keep air breathed into JMILS!

Thank you so much, Lorrie, for volunteering!

Mayer on,
Brandy

John, we will forever be 80s children.

2008-08-09T22:47:00.002-05:00

I think we're alone now...there doesn't seem to be anyone around.

So let me discuss some cover songs from the 80s that I think you should do, and that I'd love to hear you play.

"Every Rose Has Its Thorn", by Poison. You did a little bit of it on the "White People Dancing" skit on the Dave Chappelle Show. I'd love to hear you do a full version of it. Kick ass, man.

"18 and Life", by Skid Row. Nothing I've ever heard you do, but it' also be an awesome cover. The lyrics to this song are pretty powerful.

I could think of a lot more, but then I'd be going on for pages. So this two will have to do...

Katie and Josh.

2008-08-07T11:10:00.002-05:00

As promised, here is the video of Katie and Josh dancing to "Slow Dancing in a Burning Room."

Which happens to be my favorite song off of Continuum, by the way. :)

Thanks to all who participated in the last poll. So we all agree that he's strange, and we're all strange. Strange party!

So You Think You Can Dance?

2008-08-06T21:30:00.002-05:00

No, I can't. But two of John's songs have ended up on the show, and I'm happy about that.

One with Twitch and Kherington...and then tonight, as I'm watching this, with Katie and Josh. "Dreaming With A Broken Heart" and "Slow Dancing in a Burning Room", respectively.

Here's Twitch and Kherington...

Katie and Josh will be up when the show is over, I hope. :)

I think it'd be cool to have your music used as a basis for choreography...

John Mayer, the Comedian (Part II)

2008-08-06T17:29:00.002-05:00

Finally, two months later: Part II of the "John Mayer, the Comedian" series.

I think this will go on for a while...You Tube has a lot of videos regarding John's lovably strange antics. And it might make for some good humor...I don't know. We'll see.

Exhibit 1: "2 Guys, 1 Cup." This is a parody off the disgusting "2 Girls, 1 Cup." I've never seen the original, but John says this one is easier to stomach. Judging from the reactions I've seen on Youtube, he's probably right.

2 Guys 1 Cup with John Mayerfunny videosFunnyOrDie.com

See more funny videos at Funny or Die

What did you think of this video? Do you think it was clever and funny, or just plain boring? Post your thoughts in the comments.

I, personally, thought it was hilarious, but it takes different strokes to move the world. They'll have theirs, you'll have yours, and I'll have mine.

And together we'll be fine. :)

Blog news.

2008-08-04T11:27:00.002-05:00

I just wanted to let all of y'all know that posting for me will be less and less frequent [I'm seriously thinking about bringing a co-author in, so if you're interested, e-mail me @ jmilsowner@yahoo.com ] because of job obligations.

Hope you all have a pleasant day,

Brandy

Guitar Face of the Day.

2008-07-31T01:10:00.002-05:00

What he's thinking: "All right, that's it. Put those cameras away, or so help me I'll...God...sorry, I'm so sorry. I-I'm cranky. Didn't get good sleep last night...oh, I'm rambling? I'm sorry. I'll shut up now."

WTG, John (Part II).

2008-07-30T19:36:00.002-05:00

Someone took my advice.*

*Disclaimer: I doubt he read this blog and took my advice, but don't destroy my delusions. ;)

Cinematique.

2008-07-28T16:35:00.003-05:00

I hear that you are a bit of an action movie fan, Johnny boy. Well, never fear. I am here to recommend to you some movies that are coming out.

For those of you who don't know, I am a big movie buff. I play the Hollywood Stock Exchange, and my movie websites are Internet Movie Database, Box Office Mojo, and Video ETA [to check on DVD releases].

Here are my recommendations for John, as well as all of you:

Angels and Demons
Release Date: May 15, 2009
What it's about: Angels & Demons follows the character of Robert Langdon [played by Tom Hanks] as he tries to solve the murder of a scientist and prevent the Illuminati from blowing up the Vatican during a papal conclave.
Why you should see it: The book was unbelivable. Enough said.

Jonah Hex
Release Date: Estimated for 2010
What it's about: Jonah Hex will be based on the DC Comic series of the same name.
Why you should see it: They don't put out enough good westerns nowadays. The last good one was 3:10 to Yuma. An action/western based on a Confederate bounty hunter is sure to entertain.

Watchmen
Release Date: March 3, 2009
What it's about: Some would argue that the graphic novel Watchmen should never be filmed, but it has not stopped filmmakers from trying. Alan Moore and Dave Gibbons created the ground-breaking series first published by D.C. Comics in the 1980s. Watchmen explores a world much like our own where masked superheroes have existed since the 1930s. However, superheroes were outlawed in the 1970s except for those who work for the government. Now, one by one, the aging superheroes are dying under mysterious circumstances. [from hsx.com]
Why you should see it: Most comic book movies are not done the way they're meant to. The Dark Knight should have been rated "R", and wasn't. The movie Sin City, based on a graphic novel, was rated "R". The Punisher, the same. Now, Watchmen. Done right, and it will be an awesome movie.

Max Payne
Release Date: October 17, 2008
What it's about: Based on the hit PC game, Max Payne is a DEA agent whose wife, child, and best friend are murdered by the bad guys. When he is blamed for the murders, Max strikes out on his own to bring the real criminals to justice and to clear his name. Both the law and the drug cartel that all want him in connection to the slayings pursue Max. Mark Wahlberg and Mila Kunis star in the film. [from hsx.com]
Why you should see it: Max Payne's storyline was meant for a movie, not a game. It didn't translate well. Plus, Mark Wahlberg is a good actor, and will do the movie justice.

And last, but not least:

Pride and Glory
Release Date: has been bumped to 2009
What it's about: The crime-drama Pride and Glory chronicles a family of cops, where two brothers who find themselves at odds when a scandal emerges in their precinct. [from hsx.com]
Why you should see it: Crime-drama. Plus, Edward Norton is in it...he's a great actor.

And there you go. :)

Semper Fidelis.

2008-07-27T09:26:00.003-05:00

Hmmm.

There was this thick, lustrous mane of hair you had atop your head, and now all of a sudden, this haircut appears:

Though I cannot complain...despite the odd photo of you working out or going to a camera shop, the paparazzi have seemed to leave you alone.

Okay, I'll complain a little bit...whhhhyyyyy? The only excuses I'll take for this drastic change are as follows:

1. Someone spit an impressive wad of gum in your hair and the only way to get it out was to buzz your hair.

2. Your hair caught on fire, and this was the end result.

3. Your hair is very thick, and you didn't want your head to be all hot and sweaty. [I can understand, believe me.]

I'm out,
Brandy

The Mayer's Strange Demands.

2008-07-25T23:44:00.002-05:00

What's a blog titled "John Mayer is Lovably Strange" without some lovably strange tidbits about Slowhand Jr.?

If John Mayer is coming to your town for a concert, chances are he'll have a dressing room. And in this dressing room, he requests the following things:

1. Thinly sliced meat. As to what kind, he does not specify. I'm guessing it's the big three: turkey, ham, and roast beef. [Beware of turkey, John...tryptophan city.]

2. Soy milk. Gross.

3. Organic fruit bowl...huh? What's an organic fruit bowl? [Someone who knows what that is, help me out here.]

4. Four "soft head" toothbrushes. Why so many?

5. A bottle of Listerine. Not the yellow kind, I hope...that stuff is icky.

6. Two small tubes of mint-flavored toothpaste (Sensodyne or Tom's of Maine), and two packages of Altoids breath mints. Ooh, the curiously strong mints. Yay!

7. Four organic lip balms. Burts Bees, perhaps? [I love that stuff.]

8. Gold Bond powder. Hmm...

9. A copy of The New York Times. Good, you're well-read. But do you read the Times like you do the USA Today?

10. One box of a "Kids Brand Cereal" (either Cap'n Crunch, Count Chocula, Lucky Charms, Cookie Crisp, or Cinnamin Toast Crunch).

Heeeeeyyyy...where the eff are Alpha Bits on your list, John? Are you too good for the letters of the alphabet? Huh? Jerk.

11. Two tubes of Krazy Glue. Now, most will say you use it for your fingers, but I think you really use it to glue people's asses to the toilet seats.

And there you have it...his strange demands.

Check the latest poll...more of a fun one this time around. :)

I am in love with Photoshop.

2008-07-25T01:46:00.003-05:00

Thought I'd show off what I recently learned: how to add color to a black and white photo. Of course, being that this is a John Mayer-related blog, I thought I'd try it out on a picture of John:

There you go, John. I tried to stay inside the lines, even though there was something better on the other side.

Be kind, it's my first time doing this. :)

Finally...someone as random as me!

2008-07-25T00:16:00.004-05:00

I recently found the (unauthorized and fake) John Mayer blogs. Man oh man...I was laughing so much at these blog entries!

If I'm not posting for a few days, or if you start to find me not-so-funny (I don't see how that could be possible, but hey, it can happen. ;) ) then check out these blog entries. I read the entire blog through in one sitting. I cannot get enough.

Here's the most recent entry:

Phish fans are no longer allowed at my concerts

The Dumb Test.

2008-07-24T17:35:00.002-05:00

John seems like a smart cookie. I wonder how he'd do on the "Are You Dumb?" test.

Here's how I did:

Am-I-Dumb.com - How Dumb Are You?

I challenge you, John, to see if you're smarter than me. Muhaha.

I'm freeeee......freeeeee fallin'!

2008-07-24T13:25:00.002-05:00

Free Fallin'

Every time I hear or see the title of this song, I think of Jerry Maguire. Don't know why, but I do.

This was a fantastic performance. Since you like Tom Petty, may I suggest you cover the following song:

Learning to Fly

Great song, which would sound kick-ass live.

Take my advice...people tell me I give great advice. :D

A break from me.

2008-07-23T18:12:00.003-05:00

Thought I'd give you a break from me for a while, since I posted three times in a row on Sunday. Yes, it is possible to get sick of me. Ask anyone who knows me, and they can tell you. :)

Seems to me now that I'm getting more emails, that are news-related, about John Mayer. From legitimate big websites as well. This encourages me to keep on keepin' on. I get a bigger smile on my face when stuff like this happens.

I received information that on Hollywood in Hi-Def.com, Scott Hetrick, the blogger there, recently spoke to Danny Clinch (acclaimed music photographer and Grammy-nominated music video and concert film director) about Mayer’s concert release, "Where The Light Is", which was released on July 1, 2008. There are sneaky peekys and such on the website, so go check it out.

"Where The Light Is" is also available on DVD, and CD as well.

I am so behind on the uptake.

2008-07-20T13:07:00.003-05:00

Today's the day I bombard you with posts, apparently.

From Mark Kenyon, at AT&T News:

"This summer, music fans across the country can enjoy the Mile High Music Festival in Colorado, no matter where home is! On July 19th-20th, AT&T blue room will be webcasting exclusive live coverage of the event starting at 5 PM ET.

This year’s lineup features such artists as Dave Matthews Band, John Mayer, The Black Crowes and Colbie Caillat, and more!

In addition to great live video of the concert, fans can join the AT&T blue room Twitter channel to stay up to date on news and behind-the-scenes info, straight from the ground at the Mile High Music Festival."

John Mayer will be performing today, so don't miss the live webcast!

P.S. And I'm probably the only one that thinks it's awesome that this blog is actually considered cool enough to have an e-mail from a guy at AT&T news, but I'm all giddy. Wee!

Dogs are people, too.

2008-07-20T12:51:00.003-05:00

Said I'd post tomorrow, but I thought this was funny...

Apparently Norman [Jen's doggie] doesn't like you all that much, John.

I know you're likeable and all that, but dogs are people, too. Not everyone will love your happy demeanor and awesome ballads.

You'll have to try harder with Norman. My advice: take him for long walks on the beach and read him a bedtime story. If all else fails, a steak dinner works wonders.

Well, I'm back.

2008-07-20T12:35:00.002-05:00

Have no/limited internet access wasn't as bad as I thought it would be.

Didn't post immediately when I got back because I saw THE DARK KNIGHT. [I know, completely unrelated to the topic of John Mayer, but I don't care. :)]

Will be back on a regular JM blog posting schedule starting Monday, I promise. :)

Tour, tour, and more tour.

2008-07-13T00:13:00.002-05:00

Dang, I'm seeing a lot of stuff about his tour lately.

Yes, he's doing a summer tour.

Yes, I know that the entire tour is made of awesome.

And no, I didn't get to go.

But I'm writing this blog entry. So I win. ;)

P.S. I hope this blog entry will do you, because I have to go to job-related training for four days. And I may/may not have internet. Boooooo to that. If no internet, I shall see you in four days, hopefully with exciting news about whatever. If internet, I shall see you in a day.

I'm out,
Brandy

Miles of Smiles.

2008-07-08T12:17:00.002-05:00

From The Isaac Foundation:

Last night, we had a wonderful evening out with Isaac’s new best friend, John Mayer. At about 3:30, we got word from Mayer’s staff that Isaac was going to get to meet his idol before the concert. We lined up with a group of contest winners for our time with John, Isaac’s anticipation growing with every passing minute.

Finally, Isaac spotted Mayer at the front of the line, posing for pictures with the other people in our group, and the smile on his face was priceless! His eyes lit up and the grin was bigger than I’ve ever seen before on our child! He kept whispering in my ear “There’s John Mayer! I don’t think he sees me yet,” and “Two more people and I get to see him!”

We thought Isaac was going to get the very quick hello and the quick photo that everyone in line got, and we would have been thrilled at that opportunity alone. But John spent a lot of time talking with Isaac, clowning around in front of the camera, posing with Isaac and shouting “Cottage Cheese and Yoghurt!” (Isaac’s pre-photo saying). Isaac wanted to know if Mayer was going to play his favourite song, “Vultures”, and John told him it was the song that was going to open up the show!

If it ended there, the night would have been a thrill. But Isaac wanted to know one more thing. As I’ve previously blogged, Isaac’s been spending most of his waking moments watching John’s new concert DVD “Where The Light Is.” While he loves the songs, the spot he keeps rolling back to is the moment with Mayer and his band are walking through the hallway from their dressing rooms on their way to the stage. The music is going in the background (“Waiting on the World to Change”) and the band look so full of energy as they take to the stage. Isaac wanted to see the hallway! For most of the day, he kept opening up the DVD booklet and showing people the picture of the hallway that Mayer and his band walk down. So Isaac asked John if he could see the hallway that led to the stage.

John told Isaac he would try to figure something out, signed his DVD for him, and we were on our way back to our seats. Ellen, Isaac, and I had a picnic on the pavement (beer, pizza, pretzels, and popcorn) while we waited for Mayer to take the stage.

While we were waiting for the show, we got a call on our cell phone with someone asking for us to meet backstage again – John had a special surprise for Isaac! Before every show, John and his band do a special cheer, a sort of team-building, bonding cheer to that prepares them for the night on stage, and John wanted Isaac to be part of the cheer.

We got back stage, John introduced Isaac to the band, and they got together for the group cheer, this time down on their knees at Isaac-level. Everyone put their hands in and they asked Isaac what his favourite words were. After a bit of thought, Isaac responded “JOHN MAYER!” The band looked around at each other and John said, “Well, OK. John Mayer on three,” and the cheer went up!

It was a beautiful moment and I was so impressed by Mayer’s thoughtfulness and his patience with our son.

After this, it was down the hallway and onto the stage to the waiting crowd of about 20,000 screaming people! And Isaac got to walk with the band!

It’s important to note that I think they had to find a hallway to walk down because we seemed to take a round-about way to the stage. But John led the way, followed by Isaac (and Ellen) and the rest of the band. And they went all the way to the stage! And onto the stage! In fact, Isaac, Ellen, and I sat and watched the show from the speaker on the side of the stage, Isaac with a beaming smile the entire show.

Leaving the stage, Mayer gave Isaac a high-five, came over to me and said “Don’t worry…we’re going to figure this out.” Whatever comes of anything, I know that he is right because I know in my heart that we will figure this out, no matter what it takes. And all the hard work and sleepless nights, and the many events and presentations we deliver, will all be worth the tireless effort.

And the people we meet along the way will be with us to celebrate when we finally announce that we’ve found a cure for Isaac. I dream of that day often, and I know the soundtrack for our evening of celebration will be John Mayer's music.

I was so impressed by John Mayer last night. Not because he put on an incredible show (and he did!) but because of the caring and compassionate way he treated my son. John took time out of his busy schedule to provide Isaac with a positive life experience, one he won’t ever forget.

He was genuine and good, proof that he truly means what he writes about on his blog.
In his latest entry, Mayer writes “It’s a funny time to be alive right now, in that I’m not quite sure we’re celebrating like we should. I don’t mean the ‘hand me your keys, Dan!’ celebrating. I mean the inate act of 'celebration’ human appreciation. Group reveling. A general sense of ‘This is my tribe and this is our fellowship.’ Like a concert.” Mayer put his words into action last night as he celebrated our son with our family. He gave us all ã moment away from it all and I will never find adequate words to properly thank him for his kindness.

Mayer also writes about the challenges that people will inevitably face in their lives: “Chances are you won’t get hit by that proverbial bus people always talk about when they’re smoking a Lucky Strike and tipping back on their chair. Odds are also on your side (thank-God) that you won’t ever get the news from your doctor that you have only months left to live. But you know what he may very well tell you? That you need a new hip. Nobody ever says ‘live it up because someday you might need a new hip’ but it’s the truth. They don’t say ‘Be good to one another because in time we’ll all know a medical lab technician on a fist name basis’ but it happens every day.

My point is that whenever that someday comes, when I slide into the MRI scanner and the thing starts spinning up, spitting lasers and screaming into my ears, I may very well say to myself ‘I wish I had just one more of those summers.’”

Mayer is right, and it didn’t take a death in the family, or a devastating diagnosis for him to realize the importance of celebrating each and every moment.

As a family, we understand this as well. Make the most of your time, enjoy your family, and cherish every moment you have together. Remember, you never know what's around the bend.

*****

This just goes to show that you cannot believe everything you read about in the press. I've been guilty of this numerous times, and every time I want to believe the horrible stuff I read about John, I will remember this story, and smile.

God Bless Isaac's family, and God Bless John Mayer for being the wonderful person that he is.

The timeline of my John fan-dom.

2008-07-06T13:24:00.001-05:00

John's a poet, and he didn't know it.

This is the song that made me become a John Mayer fan.

I have decided to oblige you wonderful readers, and give you a little ditty I'd like to call, "The timeline of my John Fan-dom."*

2001: John Mayer first starts to make it big. I hear "Your Body is a Wonderland" on the radio incessantly. I think he sucks...and my friends agree with me.

2002: John Mayer still sucks.

2003: Nope, he still sucks.

2004: Geez, he sucks. And why does he continually win Grammys? He's a no-talent hack.

2005-2006: Good grief. John Mayer's still around?

May 21, 2007: Friend gives me a copy of Continuum. First song I listen to is "Slow Dancing in a Burning Room." I'm hooked.

May 21, 2008: My first full year as a John Mayer fan.

The rest is history, I suppose.

*These are paraphrasings of my actual thoughts. :)

Sickening.

2008-07-04T11:35:00.003-05:00

Most of the time, this blog is silly and pokes fun at all the random things that John does.

But when I read stuff like this, it causes me to shake my head at the someone who could do such a thing.

Read on...

Posted by Amy from Little Rock, Arkansas on My Stupid Mouth:

Some of you know me...some of you don't --- but I hope you will be willing to help me in this sad time.

My home was recently burglarized and vandalized. Among the items stolen was my precious and most beloved guitar. The John Mayer Signature Martin I won in the Heavier Things CD pre-order contest. It is an OM28 Martin - number 12 out of 404 made.

I will forever be checking eBay for my baby... but if you could help me as well - I would be so appreciative. I know several of you also frequent guitar dealers in your respective areas... if you could just be on the watch for #12 in the future it would mean so much to me. It is autographed To Amy "heart" John Mayer... photos below. It was in a black hard case with crushed green interior.

They also stole all of my autographed Mayer CDs... I feel like the last 7 years have just been wiped away. At least I still have some photos and memories.

I won't gross you with details of the robbery... and the blood he left behind... no joke.. Disgusting!!! Please help me rescue number 12!!!! I am unbelievably broken hearted and truly appreciate your help! If you have any leads, please contact me at grabafella01@yahoo.com

I'm at a loss.

2008-07-02T20:08:00.001-05:00

I cannot think of anything to write.

Blog writer's block, if you will.

Readers, if someone will give me some suggestions on what to write, I would completely and utterly appreciate it. :)

Brandy

So scared of getting older...I'm only good at being young.

2008-07-01T17:03:00.002-05:00

Sorry for not posting as much as I normally do. My life basically sucks right now...so much so, that I had to sell the John Mayer tickets for my concert on the 3rd. I'm needing the money right now more than I need to see him.

Such is the life of a rural teacher.

But enough about me...let's get to John's blog entry, that he posted on the 29th:

I'm laying in my London hotel room in one of my least favorite scenarios: the job is done today but the plane takes off tomorrow. The European tour was an absolute blast and I think I speak for the band and crew when I say that all sights are set firmly on the US tour and making it the best ever.

As a 30-year old with an eight-year mainstream professional music career, I couldn't be happier (and more thankful) to still have a gig. All I can think about when I'm on stage these days is how terrible it would feel to have learned how to make the most out of each and every show after the gig was up.

It's a funny time to be alive right now, in that I'm not quite sure we're celebrating like we should. I don't mean the "Hand me your keys, Dan!" celebrating. I mean the very innate act of celebration; human appreciation. Group reveling. A general sense of "This is my tribe and this is our fellowship." Like a concert.

I know I've written along these lines before, but do you know why it matters? Because someday you're going to be old, and things are going to change. Your body is going to turn on you. I already know where the L-5 and L-6 discs in my back are, because they're wearing down a little, and when I ask the doc how we lick this, he says "It is what it is. You're not 18 anymore." I have 3 gray hairs that I insist are "mutant clear hairs" but they're not. They're just gray. And right on time.

Chances are you won't get hit by that proverbial bus people always talk about when they're smoking a Lucky Strike and tipping back on their chair. Odds are also on your side (thank God) that you won't ever get the news from your doctor that you have only months left to live. But you know what he may very well tell you? That you need a new hip. Nobody ever says "live it up because someday you might need a new hip" but it's the truth. They don't say "Be good to one another because in time we'll all know a medical lab technician on a first name basis" but it happens every day.

My point is that whenever that someday comes, when I slide into the MRI scanner and the thing starts spinning up, spitting lasers and screaming into my ears, I may very well say to myself "I wish I had just one more of those summers."

Being a young man is kick-ass. Being a young man who knows that being a young man is kick-ass is what it's really all about. And as a musician, I'm finally learning to distinguish the notes that matter from the ones that don't. I'm also getting better at knowing those notes as a person, too. I'm excited to bring it all on stage, and even more excited to see you all out there.

Thank you for another one of those summers.

John

One of these days, when my life is in a better place, I'll get to see you live, John.

I could really relate to this post, because he and I are at the same points in our lives. I'm 26, he's 30. I, too, know where the L5 and L6 vertebrae are...have pretty much since I was 14. I, too, have "mutant clear hairs."

Makes me glad to see someone is "living it up."

You will have a great summer tour, John.

And though I won't be there to join you...give it your all, John.

Give it your all.

Brandy

Funny, the things you find out.

2008-06-29T21:09:00.002-05:00

I was looking on eBay motors, to see if I could find any good deals on a car. Nothing really caught my eye...until I saw this listing.

The Mayer Family Vehicle

They drove a 1996 Dodge Stratus.

Interesting, the stuff you find out.

Buy this car, someone. John may have sat in its seats, and graced the interior of the vehicle.

A ha!

2008-06-27T23:06:00.002-05:00

I KNEW you were an '80s child. Your recent honeyee blog entry is proof.

Got back to the hotel when Michael handed me the CD/DVD, hot off the presses. The finished product is always a thrill. I watched about a cumulative 7 minutes and then ejected it because, in the immortal words of P.W. Herman, "I don't have to watch it. I lived it."

Sadly, though, you got the wording wrong. P.W. Herman says, and I quote, "I don't have to see it, Dottie...I lived it."

Thank God you have me around, John. Otherwise you'd fall apart. ;)

Guitar Face of the Day

2008-06-26T19:42:00.002-05:00

What he's thinking: "Concentrate...concentrate...concentrate..."

My suggestion...

2008-06-26T13:32:00.002-05:00

You should cover this song (I'm such an '80s child, and I have the sneaking suspicion you are too. Just a suggestion, sir).

Cheese, please.

2008-06-25T23:42:00.004-05:00

Since I keep seeing the same old news about his newest relationship, I have decided to talk about...

Cheese.

John likes sushi.

John likes kobe beef.

But never do I hear "cheese" as being one of his favorite foods!

I like cheese.

Cheddar...

Swiss...

Muenster...

Pepperjack.

My friends, that is the quadrifecta of cheeses. I shall have to disown John if he does not like this most tasty of all dairy products.

Respect the cheese, John.

Respect the cheese.

Guitar Face of the Day

2008-06-25T11:24:00.002-05:00

Today's guitar face is brought to you by John Mayer.

Remember all the disclaimers. :)

What he's thinking: "If I could make a living out of this, I'd be the happiest man on Earth. Wait...I do make a living out of this! Rock on!"

Atlanta Wristbands for Charity

2008-06-24T20:57:00.002-05:00

From My Stupid Mouth and L-83:

It's been ten years since John moved to Atlanta and his music was born. The rest, as they say, is history.

In the past, fans have created wristbands to help identify each other at certain shows. Since Atlanta has always been a special place for John Mayer, we've decided to create a wristband that will benefit the Back to You Fund.

The bracelet (in the style of LIVESTRONG) will be glow-in-the dark blue in color and will have text on two sides. Side one will say: ATL FEELS LIKE HOME 98-08 and side two will say: 08.29.08 Why Georgia. We are working on setting up a site with more information where you can see a sample of how the bracelet will look. More info to come.

Each bracelet will cost $5.00 (shipping included) and ALL profits from the wristbands will go straight to the Back to You Fund. If you'd like to contribute more to the charity, anything extra would be very much appreciated.

If you are interested in ordering an Atlanta wristband, please send money via Paypal to atlantawristbands@gmail.com. If you would like to mail a money order, please contact us at the same email address to get a mailing address.

Anyone wishing to order needs to pay by July 31, 2008 so that we'll have plenty of time to send out all wristbands before the show.

Sorry, John...Live Earth was a bust.

2008-06-24T16:46:00.003-05:00

Live Aid and Live 8.

At least these had a purpose.

This is John at Live Earth. Live Earth was to raise awareness about global warming, so in lots of cities around the big wide world, performers performed.

Dear John was one of them. He compared the event to absorption of vitamins.

“I think a lot of people at Giants Stadium today want to listen.
Awareness works likes a vitamin. You go to the bathroom and 99% of it is gone but you hope that you retained 1%. I feel this counter claim that’s taking place today about whether or not it needs to be done, it’s counter productive. We want to be healthier and some people are debating whether we need to be and I just don’t get it because if you could be healthier, why wouldn’t you be? I don’t understand what the counter point is!”

Here's the counterpoint: NOW all of a sudden we care about how we're treating the Earth? Also, the concert used up energy and resources...we used up electricity and stuff watching the damn thing (if we chose to watch it). That's the counterpoint. And for people like me who cannot afford to go completely green, the point is moot.

I happen to agree with dear old George Carlin (R.I.P), about people who want to save the planet. Watch and learn, John. :)

You can start yelling at me now, Readers. :p

I'm out.

Brandy

Guitar Face of the Day

2008-06-23T23:39:00.004-05:00

This is something that I'm going to do, or try to, every day, called "Guitar Face of the Day." I shall try and give insight to what he's thinking when he's doing that particular face.

Disclaimer: If you see a picture that's yours, or it's one that you've taken, don't yell at me. Instead, politely whisper to me that you'd like credit for your picture. :)

Disclaimer, Part II: My analysis-es are always open to intepretation.

What he's thinking: "I am completely fucking awesome. I know it. You know it. I know that you know that I know it. And I know that you know that you know that I know it. Suck on that!"

Disclaimer, Part III: If I confuse you...join the club. I confuse myself. All the time. :)

John Mayer, the Comedian (Part I)

2008-06-23T14:14:00.002-05:00

John Mayer always fancied himself a comedian.

I have to say, after seeing this, I think he's right.

And yes, you are a young Bruce Springsteen. Minus the Academy Award. You need to get you one of those.

Minty Fresh Breath...and over 2,000 Page Views.

2008-06-22T21:46:00.002-05:00

Oral hygiene...very important.

So I was very pleased to see what was on the list for demands for his dressing room:

1. Food (what kind it is, doesn't matter. It all gets digested anyway).
2. Reading material.
3. Stuff for minty fresh breath: four toothbrushes, toothpaste, mouthwash, and breath mints.

"I am a big oral hygiene fan -- as everyone should be. But I am not a fan of putting a toothbrush in an overnight bag where a cologne bottle might break. So I go for a new toothbrush every night. Wasteful? Maybe. But it's my biggest rock star excess...there should be excitement that, if we ever meet, the first thing you'll get from me is a radiant ring of minty freshness."

One thing I didn't notice on your list for oral hygiene, John: dental floss.

Really, I'm disappointed in you. Dentists recommend you floss as well. Dentist's dream? I think not.

I recommend you go to this website: How to Floss. It shows you how to floss. You can even buy floss online, if you feel so inclined.

I'm out,
Brandy

P.S. Thanks for the over 2,000 page views, readers! :)

TYFTWD is AAAI (an awesomely awesome idea), Part V

2008-06-22T00:39:00.002-05:00

Alas, all good things must come to an end.

And so must TYFTWD.

I thought I'd mention something to all my readers, both new and old: in no way does this blog intend to make fun of John.

This blog is all in fun: analyzing the behavior, the blog entries, and poking fun at the ridiculous-osity that is the paparazzi. Because in the end, it really is all about the music.

As I've said before...respect the music, respect the man.

...I'm off my soapbox now.

Let's go back to TYFTWD, and how it's still AAAI.

In this entry, he gives us a song that is still a piece of clay. A song that is still being molded and shaped. The end product, once he puts it in the kiln, may come out different than he originally intended, but once the piece of pottery is glazed...it will come out beautiful.

May I say, John, that this song clip is absolutely beautiful.

The Video Poll

2008-06-21T21:38:00.001-05:00

All of Y-O-U have spoken, and you say you do not want to see more blog entries done in video.

So I will not.

I'm more witty while I'm writing, anyway. ;)

It's my birthday...

2008-06-20T08:31:00.001-05:00

...and John is halfway across the world right now.

*sighs*

This time last year, he was in Maryland Heights. But, being as I was a new fan, I didn't think it appropriate to go.

I AM going to the one in Maryland Heights this year, though, barring any unforeseen incidents. Wee!

Oh, and once again, this blog is about the Y-O-U, and I want to thank all my readers. I'm glad I can get some people to read my random babblings! :)

Thanks again, and Happy Birthday to meeee...

See John. See John run. Run John, run.

2008-06-19T20:19:00.003-05:00

John sure does like to run. I've seen quite a bit of pictures with him running, running, running.

It is a good stress reliever, or so I've heard.

I wonder what kind of shoes he wears during his runs: Nike Air Max?

And if you can run that fast, John...why don't you run away from the paparazzi, like Flash?

The costume, however, is optional.

Hold the presses...

2008-06-19T15:41:00.003-05:00

John Mayer chats on the phone!

I thought I should let you know this, just in case you weren't aware.

I sure wasn't!

Desktop Picture 1

2008-06-18T00:56:00.003-05:00

MONDAY, JUNE 16, 2008
DESKTOP PICTURE 1

Thought it might be cool to start sharing some photos I've taken by way of desktop pictures.
Optimized for a 15" MacBook Pro.
Number 1 - road case...
(make sure to "save picture as")
Enjoy.

JM

Optimize it for a Gateway computer, John. Dammit, I can't get it to look as good on my desktop as it probably does on yours.

Not all of us own Macbooks. Yeesh. Be considerate of the non-Mac fans! :p

I went to Wal-Mart...

2008-06-16T19:37:00.003-05:00

By Someone

Brandy decided to venture out of the city she lives in and to a Wal-Mart thirty miles away, says a source.

Today, Brandy, 26, who prefers her own company as opposed to going out in public, made the trek to Wal-Mart to purchase an accessory for her digital camera (the Kodak Easyshare C330).

Wal-Mart is one of the most popular stores in the United States. With slogans like "Low Prices...Everyday", no wonder people like to shop there.

"Brandy took about twenty, thirty minutes in the digital camera department before asking a clerk for help," said an onlooker. "She asked for a memory card for her digital camera."

Before leaving the digital camera section, "she looked at a Kodak M763."

Looking to trade up, Brandy?

Source: My Twisted Mind

*****

See?

This is an article that would be in a magazine if I was famous and had a million dollars. I'm also laughing at the ridiculous-osity about magazines reporting everything John does.

Very hard.

We Humanoids and Time Travel...

2008-06-15T18:30:00.004-05:00

Time is of your own making;
its clock ticks in your head.
The moment you stop thought
time too stops dead.

--Angelus Silesius

In a past blog entry (now deleted), John Mayer mentioned the concept of time travel, and its fascination.

Think about this, John.

You are time traveling when you go to your homes in different area codes, or back and forth to your concert venues.

For example: say you decided to venture to Los Angeles from New York. It's 12:00 a.m. in New York.

You decide to fly, and by the time you reach Los Angeles in your private jet, it's 9:00 p.m. In New York, you've already seen the hour of 9:00 p.m. You've time traveled simply by going to a different time zone.

Get it?

Get it?

Hope you do. :)

How 'bout them Aussies?

2008-06-15T14:31:00.006-05:00

Well, how about them?

In an interview I saw on the Sydney Morning Herald website, at http://smh.com.au, the interviewer asked John Mayer about his secret. "You've dated all these beautiful women. What is your secret?" I can tell this question either REALLY astonished him (as in, "What kind of a dumb-ass question is that?") or REALLY annoyed him (as in "I'm so f***ing tired of getting this question.")

"You can skip that, you can just keep going...I love the Australians, I love how you just come out swinging. You can just go onto the next question. We live in a world where you can see everything about me. There's not a thing I could deny. So I'm not denying anything."

What's so funny is that this article has the nerve to say this: ...his wariness about talking about his love life eventually became comical.

He and Aniston have been parading their passion around LA - including poolside smooches at some of the city's best-known hotels - but even before we had mentioned the words "Jennifer Aniston", Mayer went into defensive mode.

Um, of course he's going to be defensive. He's sick of his personal space being invaded. Psychologists say you need at least 3 feet of it. That's 3 feet, or 36 inches.

"I'm going to give you an answer to the question you last asked, because I do think it's a legitimate question. Don't ever believe you have a secret. I think that's probably the moment when you head completely crowns inside your own ass. My secret in life is: just be good to people, surround yourself with great people, be kind, don't put people down, even in your head."

Or, as Bill in Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure said:

John Mayer vs. The Jonas Brothers!

2008-06-14T18:00:00.006-05:00

Showdown!

In the red corner:

John Clayton Mayer
Age: 30
Occupation: Guitar player and songwriter extraordinaire

In the blue corner:

The Jonas Brothers
Ages: 20, 18, and 15
Occupation: Dark-haired version of Hanson

Topic of debate? Guitar Hero.

According to the UK Website Entertainment Wise, Kevin Jonas spoke with them and revealed that Guitar Hero is a big part of the life of the Jonas brothers. Kevin told the website, "I totally understand John Mayer’s perspective but for me I think it’s a great way to introduce the idea of an instrument to a generation of a young age."

What did John say? Here's a reminder:

I don't ever want to be the type of guy who rails against whatever progress has taken place. But Guitar Hero was devised to bring the guitar-playing experience to the masses without them having to put anything into it. And having done both, there's nothing like really playing the guitar. I mean, what would you rather drive, a Ferrari or one of those amusement-park cars on a track?

Will this issue ever come to a conclusion? Only time will tell...

Brandy

P.S. Something amusing: Found this on the National Ledger website (http://www.nationalledger.com) An ad:

His name's not John Mayer anymore. It's John Mayey. Remember that, folks!

Yet another poll.

2008-06-14T14:51:00.006-05:00

I just figured something out about on my digital camera (here's a picture of it since I can't literally take a picture of it unless I have another camera):

It can take videos. How cool is that?

Here is the test video. You may have to turn it all the way up since my mouth is about 10 million miles away from the microphone:

Hope the video works...if not, then my dreams are shot. :(

If it does work, wee! Then look to your right to vote in yet another poll.

Brandy

All about the Y-O-U, Part II

2008-06-14T10:46:00.002-05:00

Just a little over 1,500 page views.

I never dreamed people would like this little blog of mine...I just want to say thank you!

And thanks to the comment-ers. If you are a JMILS lurker, I'd love to hear from you, via comment or e-mail, @ jmilsowner@yahoo.com.

Brandy

TYFTWD is AAAI (an awesomely awesome idea), Part IV

2008-06-13T23:28:00.002-05:00

I think this is awesome. Especially about the whole encore thing: picked by the fans? And the experience will be on the website?

Sweeeeet.

"The John Mayer Experience", as opposed to "The Hendrix Experience".

I want you to play Slow Dancing in a Burning Room. I am in love with that song. Play it, or you'll get a bra thrown at your face.

Don't say I didn't warn you.

Brandy

P.S. Nice exit. I'd be tripping all over myself.
P.P.S. Don't make up your mind and change it back again in regards to this encore thing. Please. :)

Experimental Human Growth Hormones

2008-06-13T18:07:00.006-05:00

Thought I'd interject with some news:

1. I won't be able to do the Meet and Greet, which makes me so mad. I was wanting to be able to meet him, and mention the blog, and maybe post some pictures of backstage and such. But other plans popped up that are more important. Oh well, it will happen...I just have to be patient. And I have Maryland Heights...trying my hardest to get something accomplished there.

2. The name of the blog has changed to "John Mayer is Lovably Strange." :) Same content, different name.

Nowwwww...onto the entry: Experimental Human Growth Hormones!

What's in the bag? Indigestion medicine? Advil?

No! It's Experimental Human Growth Hormones!

I love this tactic...messing with the paps, basically letting them know: "It's none of your business what I have in this bag! Ha!"

If he wasn't coming out of a pharmacy, I'd be betting there was a donut in that bag.

Yum...

Layout changes

2008-06-12T16:45:00.001-05:00

You may notice the page changing a zillion times in the next few minutes or so. I'm just testing new layouts...

Phone message

2008-06-12T09:51:00.004-05:00

I know one of John's hobbies is stand-up comedy, and that's one of the reasons why he was Cosmo's Fun Fearless male of 2008.

I still say that this picture is Photoshopped.

Anywho, he said that stand-up comedy takes a lot of guts, and it makes him braver. I have to wonder how he does at standup; I'll have to look into it. Have you visited the Comedy Cellar lately, John?

But I digress. This is all leading up to Seinfeld. Yes, Seinfeld. John mentioned Jerry Seinfeld once, and I was watching my seasons on DVD for the 8 millionth time, and I came across this episode with this clip:

John, you should totally have this as your voicemail/phone message. Just change the name "George" to "John". I think it'd be hilarious.

Poll

2008-06-11T12:34:00.002-05:00

Thanks to the people who voted in my poll.

So you want to see analysis of his blog entries and his personal behavior?

I'm on it. :)

Delusions

2008-06-10T19:09:00.003-05:00

Since John has started dating Jennifer, I've noticed people getting really up in arms about his choice of woman, and rooting for their relationship to fail. Not everybody, but quite a bit of people.

Odds are you will never meet him. And even if you do meet him, he's not going to immediately fall in love with you and want to marry you in the space of 30 minutes...seconds...whatever.

This is not analyzing John's behavior...this is analyzing the fans' behavior.

Respect the music, ladies and gentlemen. Respect the man.

That is all.

Brandy

Feh.

2008-06-08T19:13:00.001-05:00

Due to the lack of JM news today and my laziness, I thought I'd brag on my blog getting the best blog of the day.

Glance over to the left. See my button?

I rock.

Thank you, Blog of the Day people! I guess you got tired of me bugging you, huh? ;)

My new album!

2008-06-07T15:14:00.003-05:00

Okay, okay, so maybe I'm not putting out a new album. And this isn't John related, but I wanted to post this anyway. I did this once before, and I thought I'd do it again.

Here's how to do it:

1. Go to the Wikipedia home page and click "random article" (in the menu on the left). That is your band's name.
2. Click random article again; that is your album name.
3. Click random article 15 more times; those are the tracks on your album.

My band's name: Clear the Air
My album name: AMF

Songs:

1. Luis Magana
2. Strongyloidiasis
3. Faja
4. Häxmästaren
5. Barruecopardo
6. Barbosa, São Paulo
7. Jesus Castillo, Jr.
8. Claudiu Puia
9. Tirap district
10. Casablanca
11. L'Ange Blanc
12. Underworld
13. Lisa Howard
14. Jana Thompson
15. Niall Ó Brolcháin

You should try this for your next album, John. wikipedia is a valuable tool. ;)